I have new neighbors

I knew I should have bitten the bullet and bought that little house right behind me but I hesitated and an investor swooped it up (for a SONG, people!) and now I have redneck renters living within 80 yards of my bedroom/office window. They like to start partying outside at about 4:00 PM and they don't like to go to bed until sometimes 3:00 in the morning. They hoot and they holler and they have (friendly) yelling arguments and the smoke and smoke and smoke their cigarettes. I'm pretty sure they're using bullhorns and getting right up against the fence and blowing all that stinky smoke right toward my bedroom window because now - now that the weather is amazing and the evenings are breezy and wonderful - I am uncomfortable hanging out in my own (amazing) back yard and I can't go to sleep without shutting all my windows to keep out the noise and the stink. FML

What they're probably really like	How they seem to me by 10:00 PM

What I think when I see a spider in my shower

1. Where did you come from?
2. Where the hell were you when I was in there showering?
3. You weren't hiding in my towel the whole time, were you?
4. I...will...drown...you!

A little bit of Springtime at my house

I'm 648 months old today

That is to say, my body is 648 months old. My brain is sometimes 25 and sometimes 97. 

FWP

Koi Pron

Click here to see the latest news about the pond.

Peeves & Pleasures

20 things that annoy me:

1. Picture links on shopping sites that say "Enlarge" but when you click them you get a picture the same size as the first one.
2. Websites that require you to enter text into fields but the cursor doesn't start in the first field, and sites where you have to fill in a specific number of characters in a specific set of fields, (e.g., a phone number or a social security number separated into three distinct fields) but the cursor doesn't jump to the next field when you fill the one behind it.
3. People who get dogs and then leave them outdoors, lonely and in the sun all day. And barking.

4. Western medicine. Except when it saves my life.
5. Being hungry and overweight at the same time. No fair!
6. People who let their sprinklers run overtime and/or who let their sprinklers run while it's raining.
7. The uppity.
8. Hypocrites, procrastinators, and game-players.
9. Certain people. Certain other people know who those people are.
10. Not being able to find the time to read and write more.
11. Working until midnight and still having 200 emails in my inbox that need to be read/analyzed/processed/responded to; looking forward to my three-day/birthday weekend simply so I can get caught up on work.

12. Facebook. Twitter. Klout.
13. The world assuming everyone is on Facebook and Twitter.
14. Fear-mongering and TSA theatrics.
15. Clutter.
16. Loud, stupid, drunk people.
17. People who try to get their agenda all over me.
18. Huell Howser.
19. My cat hornking loudly when I'm on a speaker phone call.
20. Not having my strong, cute, healthy young body anymore.

More than 20 things that way-opposite-of-annoy me:

1. Kittens and babies.
2. SkyMall catalogs. FUN!
3. The smell of a lemon tree in full blossom.
4. Freshly washed grown men.
5. The writing of Andy Borowitz.
6. Living in "the future" where one can be cured of cancer "just like that" (insert finger snap here) and one can watch TV shows online at one's convenience and one can see one's grandchild in real time even when miles apart.
7. Ice comes out of the door of my fridge whenever I want it to!
8. Receiving correspondence from my kidz.
9. Neighbors I don't know personally who nevertheless waive when I drive up the street.
10. Receiving expressions of appreciate from those in power at work.
11. The kind of pepperoni that Round Table uses.
12. Citrus air fresheners - the ones that are common in public restrooms. Love 'em.
13. My metal chicken. (Knock Knock MFer!)
14. Nursing seeds through germination and beyond.
15. Tabla.

16. My loinfruit.
17. Serenity.
18. Salads with pickled beets, feta, and almonds.
19. Avocados pretty much any way I can get them.
20. The Davenport being my "home away from home" ...
    and I don't have to pay a dime for it!
21. The Long Island Ice Teas at Q'bole.
22. Wonderful won ton soup.
23. Mikuni.
24. Kufta.
25. Looking at / buying / rehabbing houses.
26. A cup of really good, hot coffee.
27. Cinnamon.
28. Kindness.
29. Sleep.

Dear Photograph,

You've seen a lot of changes over the years but I like you more now than ever. 

 

PS - Happy Birthday, Gayle Pope. 

(Not that the latter has anything to do with the former. I'm just thinking if you ever land here after Googling yourself, you may find me.)

 

Too close to home

 Savage Chickens FTW!

It's a sad state of affairs when I look forward to the weekend so I can finally get some work done.

FWP