I have a hard time shutting up

I haven't blogged much of late. Not for lack of stuff to say, trust me. More because of the controversial nature of what I have to say and my lack of desire to deal with the inevitable consequences. Which sucks 'cause, assuming the Constitution applies to me too, I should feel free to say whatever I want to. That being said, this blog did, in fact, originate as a place to post stuff for my family - recaps of family goings-on, photos and the like. So I'm going to let this blog grow mold unless and until there is something of that nature to be shared. The end.

I have new neighbors

I knew I should have bitten the bullet and bought that little house right behind me but I hesitated and an investor swooped it up (for a SONG, people!) and now I have redneck renters living within 80 yards of my bedroom/office window. They like to start partying outside at about 4:00 PM and they don't like to go to bed until sometimes 3:00 in the morning. They hoot and they holler and they have (friendly) yelling arguments and the smoke and smoke and smoke their cigarettes. I'm pretty sure they're using bullhorns and getting right up against the fence and blowing all that stinky smoke right toward my bedroom window because now - now that the weather is amazing and the evenings are breezy and wonderful - I am uncomfortable hanging out in my own (amazing) back yard and I can't go to sleep without shutting all my windows to keep out the noise and the stink. FML

What they're probably really like
How they seem to me by 10:00 PM

What I think when I see a spider in my shower

  1. Where did you come from?
  2. Where the hell were you when I was in there showering?
  3. You weren't hiding in my towel the whole time, were you?
  4. I...will...drown...you!

I'm 648 months old today

That is to say, my body is 648 months old. My brain is sometimes 25 and sometimes 97. 

Peeves & Pleasures

20 things that annoy me:
  1. Picture links on shopping sites that say "Enlarge" but when you click them you get a picture the same size as the first one.
  2. Websites that require you to enter text into fields but the cursor doesn't start in the first field, and sites where you have to fill in a specific number of characters in a specific set of fields, (e.g., a phone number or a social security number separated into three distinct fields) but the cursor doesn't jump to the next field when you fill the one behind it.
  3. People who get dogs and then leave them outdoors, lonely and in the sun all day. And barking.
  4. Western medicine. Except when it saves my life.
  5. Being hungry and overweight at the same time. No fair!
  6. People who let their sprinklers run overtime and/or who let their sprinklers run while it's raining.
  7. The uppity.
  8. Hypocrites, procrastinators, and game-players.
  9. Certain people. Certain other people know who those people are.
  10. Not being able to find the time to read and write more.
  11. Working until midnight and still having 200 emails in my inbox that need to be read/analyzed/processed/responded to; looking forward to my three-day/birthday weekend simply so I can get caught up on work.
  12. Facebook. Twitter. Klout.
  13. The world assuming everyone is on Facebook and Twitter.
  14. Fear-mongering and TSA theatrics.
  15. Clutter.
  16. Loud, stupid, drunk people.
  17. People who try to get their agenda all over me.
  18. Huell Howser.
  19. My cat hornking loudly when I'm on a speaker phone call.
  20. Not having my strong, cute, healthy young body anymore.

More than 20 things that way-opposite-of-annoy me
  1. Kittens and babies.
  2. SkyMall catalogs. FUN!
  3. The smell of a lemon tree in full blossom.
  4. Freshly washed grown men.
  5. The writing of Andy Borowitz.
  6. Living in "the future" where one can be cured of cancer "just like that" (insert finger snap here) and one can watch TV shows online at one's convenience and one can see one's grandchild in real time even when miles apart.
  7. Ice comes out of the door of my fridge whenever I want it to!
  8. Receiving correspondence from my kidz.
  9. Neighbors I don't know personally who nevertheless waive when I drive up the street.
  10. Receiving expressions of appreciate from those in power at work.
  11. The kind of pepperoni that Round Table uses.
  12. Citrus air fresheners - the ones that are common in public restrooms. Love 'em.
  13. My metal chicken. (Knock Knock MFer!)
  14. Nursing seeds through germination and beyond.
  15. Tabla.
  16. My loinfruit.
  17. Serenity.
  18. Salads with pickled beets, feta, and almonds.
  19. Avocados pretty much any way I can get them.
  20. The Davenport being my "home away from home" ...
    and I don't have to pay a dime for it!
  21. The Long Island Ice Teas at Q'bole.
  22. Wonderful won ton soup.
  23. Mikuni.
  24. Kufta.
  25. Looking at / buying / rehabbing houses.
  26. A cup of really good, hot coffee.
  27. Cinnamon.
  28. Kindness.
  29. Sleep.

Dear Photograph,

You've seen a lot of changes over the years but I like you more now than ever. 

PS - Happy Birthday, Gayle Pope. 
(Not that the latter has anything to do with the former. I'm just thinking if you ever land here after Googling yourself, you may find me.)

Too close to home

 Savage Chickens FTW!

It's a sad state of affairs when I look forward to the weekend so I can finally get some work done.

R.I.P. Spike

After a valiant 12-year battle with the 21st century, Vincenzo Giovanni Musso - aka Spike - passed away peacefully tonight. The day he saw this picture on my phone, just this past October, was the last time I heard him let out a real belly-laugh.

R.I.P. Spike
10/22/1914 - 4/30/2012

Don't you just love makeovers?

Well, maybe not this one. In response to Still Alive, as a Geminiacally typical "you think THAT's bad," I offer these before and after pix of Neko.

Ahh, Neko...we miss him.

Neko at age 18 in 2003
Neko just prior to his stroke in 2007
Dig my stylin'
glasses, yo.
Don't blame me! He had to be shaved because
he just couldn't groom himself anymore!
Frankly, he was more like a zombie at this point anyway.

What you can't visualize in those still shots is just how spastic he became as he aged. He drooled and snarfled and fell down a lot. After the stroke, of course, he wasn't able to get back up again. He died at the ripe old age of 21-1/2. (And boy, was he ripe!)

President’s/Presidents/Presidents’ Day Trivia Quiz

Original painting "Callin' the Blue" by Andy Thomas

Which of the following statements is true?

(A) Jacqueline Kennedy, upon realizing her husband’s eye was wandering, discreetly contacted Marilyn Monroe and paid her to provide speech lessons so that she could woo back her husband’s affections with that same breathy, seductive quality for which Marilyn was famous.

(B) One 19th century president was a sworn enemy of the United States and has a grandson who is still alive today.

(C) While running for office along with vice-presidential candidate John Tyler, William Henry Harrison’s famous campaign slogan was derived from his nickname, Tippy Canoe. The nickname was given to him by his Yale college chums, teasing him for being the one man on the rowing team who always tipped the boat over in the water.

(D) George Washington was the first President of the United States.

Grandhog Day

Last weekend I took my three year old grandson to the science museum. The same place I had taken my son – his daddy – when he was three. The day was clear with a crisp chill in the air. Landon was wrapped in the same coat my son had worn. We walked the same nature trail and threw stones into the same pond. He climbed on the same playground equipment. We sat at the same picnic table, snacking on apples and cheese, just what his daddy liked at that age. Although nearly thirty years separated the two visits, it was as though no time at all had passed.