Letters From Armenia

A letter and photo arrived this week from Armenia. Geghetsik is really turning into a lovely young lady. At 13, she's grown her hair longer and is beginning to lose the baby fat in her face. She says the winter there is warm, without much snow. I guess the U.S. took the brunt of it for them this year.

A couple of weeks ago I received a letter from Nazeli's mom, Nazeli being too young to write, of course. Their family is doing fine and appreciates the support from abroad. Her mom seems very nice. She did not, however, include any photos.

I still hope to travel to Armenia one day and meet both the Uchparmakyan and Arakelyan families in person.

They Will Survive

I stumbled across this little video this morning. It was posted on the blog of a friend of a friend who suffered physical and emotional abuse quite literally at the hands of her husband.

The people in this video, men and women, girls and boys, reveal expressions that disclose their various stages of recovery...survivorship. When I look into their faces, I can feel the abuse they've suffered.

It moved me to tears.

These are people who live next door. You may work with them. They are your aunt, sister, cousin, student, teacher, husband, employer, grocery store checker. They are all around us. They may be us.

If you know someone – or are someone – who’s been taking abuse from another, please speak up. The shame belongs to the abusers, not to the ones who, so ironically and so cruelly, have been taught to feel the shame.

Villa Toscano

Steve and I had a wonderful weekend. Saturday, he spent the day with Sara and her new beau, and I went off to pick oranges with friends at Amber's house. After a few hours of enjoying all the good company and the fire pit and munchies, Bill and I went off to relax over a cuppa at Starbucks.

Sunday morning Steve and I met a new friend for coffee, then took off from there and got happily lost driving all over hill & dale in the gold country (Hwy 49 south of Placerville). After enjoying the rolling hills, the moss-covered rocky crags, and the occasional mist in the trees (or was that just our imaginations?), we eventually found our intended destination.

We landed at Villa Toscano Winery, where we are evidently members. We needed to pick up our January selection. First, though, we did some tasting, then had some hot sannies in the bistro. We then went on to some other wineries in the area, tasted more, and bought more.

Sunset found us at our favorite Mexican restaurant in Folsom. They offer unique dishes, excellent Long Island Iced Teas, and a friendly staff. We think it's a great place to munch the hot chips and fresh chipotle salsa, and relax at the end of the day.

Welcome to Villa Toscano, as you enter through the verdigris gates.

Some of the vineyards surrounding the winery.

 This is just the view of the "bistro." The main building with the tasting room is much prettier and can be see on their website.

 Now leaving through those same gorgeous gates.

FLAWSOME!

A Valentine To All Girls

If you are or ever were once a girl, if you have a girlfriend or a friend who is a girl, if you have a niece, a daughter, or a step-daughter, if you have a mother, a step-mother, or a grandmother, please pull up a chair and watch this frank and passionate 20 minute talk by Eve Ensler.

Ms. Ensler declares there is a "girl cell" in us all -- males and females alike -- and that it is something we have all been taught to suppress...but at what cost? She tells heartfelt and gut-wrenching stories of girls around the world who have overcome dramatic adversity and violence to reveal the astonishing strength of being a girl.

If after watching this talk you feel compelled to do something for the girls of the world, here are a few options to consider:

There are many, many more. As always, before you donate to any charity, I recommend you research their business practices and philosophies. I use:

If you choose not to participate in any of these female-focused charities, that's okay. I won't hold it against you. But please remember this talk and the paradigm it conveys the next time you talk with the girls in your life.

Home & Family

Morro Bay & Mary's Memorial

After a quick business trip to Spokane in late January, I collected the boys - all three of them - and we drove out to Morro Bay to attend Aunt Mary's memorial / celebration of life that was put on by the Lions and Lionesses at the Veterans Hall in Cayucos. It was great to see everyone there.

Thanks to Paul and Nell's chauffeur service, even Spike was able to attend.

That area of the Pacific coast is probably my favorite place to be. When Publisher's Clearing House finally shows up with that giant, cardboard check for me, the first thing I'll do is buy a huge, built-for-entertaining house out there within walking distance of the beach. You're all invited.

With apologies to Brooke and Cindy, it was wonderful to have my boys all to myself for the weekend. There was much conversation and hilarity! I didn't even mind all the diaper changing (Landon, not Joel & Koby).

After the leaving the Musso family in Morro Bay, the kids and I drove to SLO to have lunch with Coleman. It was a quickie, but great to see him! (Why didn't we take any pictures?!) Then we headed east again, stopping in Templeton for a quick taste of wine at Four Vines. Then it was back to Visalia for more laughs and a couple of zzz's before Koby and I headed north again on Sunday.

Home Improvements

I've finally finished painting the kitchen cabinets!

Before:

After:

Okay, so maybe in pictures it doesn't look like much, but it was a long, difficult process getting all the purple cabinet doors to turn "capuccino" and dying the orange cat grey.

While shopping at Lowe's on Saturday, we found kitchen cabinet knobs that - lo and behold - we both liked. We got them - and the new drapes for the new living room window - installed on Saturday - just in time to host the gang here for Superbowl Sunday.

I'm really happy with the way these projects are turning out. The kitchen looks brighter and more spacious. Next will be the arduous removal of the kitchen baseboards -- which were GLUED ON! -- then installation of cork planks over the existing crappy laminate flooring. Once that's done, we can install new baseboards, sink and faucet (and counters??). I'm also going to remove the 1970's recessed fluorescent lighting, finish that alcove and install a low profile ceiling fan, then put can lighting around three sides, directed to the work surfaces.

When the kitchen is done, I'll start in on my bathroom.

* whew *

Words to Live By

Steve picked this up from Loreena McKennitt's website. We try to live by these. (Try is the operational word here.)

• Be compassionate and never forget how to love.
• Think inclusively.
• Reclaim noble values such as truth, honesty, honour, courage.
• Respect one's elders and look to what they have to teach you.
• Be empathetic.
• Look after the less fortunate in society.
• Promote and protect diversity.
• Respect the gifts of the natural world.
• Set your goals high and take pride in what you do.
• Cherish and look after your body, and, as the ancient Greeks believed, your mind will serve you better.
• Put back into the community as there have been those before you who have done the same and you are reaping what they sowed.
• Participate in and protect democracy. It does not thrive as a spectator sport.
• Undertake due diligence in everything.
• Seek balance, and space, and solitude.
• Don't be afraid to feel passionate about something.
• Learn to be an advocate and an ambassador for good.
• Be mindful of your limitations.
• Indulge and nurture your curiosity as it will keep you vital.
• Take charge of your life and don't fall into the pit of entitlement.
• Assume nothing and take nothing for granted.
• Things are not necessarily what they seem.

Happy Birthday, Joel

In 1982, this boy entered my life. Well, technically he entered my life in 1981, but I didn't actually get to meet him until 1982.

He began life as the most gentle, peaceful, contended, sublime child. He was always ready with a hug, and loved to be read to. He began reading on his own when he was only one and a half. When he played by himself, he would make up long, involved story-telling songs about dinosaurs. He couldn't say his R's or S's too well at first, so he'd sing, "The tywannathauwuth wath a meat eataaah..."

By age three he was considered an academic genius and encouraged to enter kindergarten early. Deciding that three was just too early, we kept him busy at home with "athignmenth!" He started kindergarten at age four and a half.

A minute later he was ready to graduate high school and pressuring us to sign papers so he could go directly into the Navy. Coming from a long line of Navy service, his dad had no qualms about consenting, but his mom resisted. Finally, though, after Joel really put the pressure on, I signed the papers. Just days later, or so it seems, I was handing him over to strangers who stole him away for nine weeks of Rude Awakening.

Another minute later, Joel was married. He and Cindy now have their first child. Nowadays Joel struggles with the stress that comes with working full time, studying for a Bachelor's degree, and taking care of a one-year-old. (Cindy works at night so they alternate duties with Landon.)

He and Cindy are clearly good parents - Landon is a busy, happy child who doesn't seem to worry at all about having his needs met, he just goes about the business of being a toddler. Joel is working hard to survive his online college courses with a respectable GPA. He's a valuable employee who is depended on at work. (I know, that sounds like I'm doing your annual review!)

I know he worries sometimes that he's not "where he should be" in life at this age, but, really, he's in exactly the right place and I am so proud of him.

My birthday wish for you, Joel, is that you remember to breathe... and live more in the moment. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but don't miss the present. It's gone in a FLASH! One day you look around and you're fifty-something and you have all these precious memories but they are of events so far away you sometimes wonder if it was all just a dream. It's like that feeling you have about an hour after waking up, when you just can't remember all of it no matter how much you want to.

Joel has decided he doesn't feel any older this year, so he's declared this his second 27th birthday. I hope he has many, many more 27th birthdays to come!

Happy birthday, son.

Mary Adele Giovanazzi Musso, 1923-2010

The first time Mary and Al met (if you can call it that) was at baby-Mary's baptism. Al, of course a child himself at the time, is reported to have looked up the aisle at the little baby and declared to his mother, "Someday I'm going to marry her."

In love from the very beginning, Al and Mary were wed on April 4, 1943.

Over the years their family grew, with three daughters and, now, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

When I spoke with Al in December, he proudly told me that he and Mary had not fought once in their 67 years of marriage. I believe him. Mary was an angel, and Al loved her completely. Everyone did.

This past Friday, January 8th, Mary passed away. It was her time, but she will be sorely, deeply, forever missed.

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

I've been composting for a couple of years now. All my eggshells, coffee grounds, and other kitchen scraps go into the bin I keep on the counter. Used Swiffer Duster pads, used up (many times) Bounce dryer sheets, dryer lint, and even used Kleenexes go in, as does all of my shredded paper and leaves from the garden. When the bin fills up, it goes into the compost pile. When we remember to do so, we turn and, if necessary, wet down the compost.

All of this has become second nature to me. My compost pile is home to zillions (yes, zillions) of wiggly, fat worms. It produces beautiful, rich, black dirt. I only have one problem. I've filled the bin. And if I keep adding new stuff, we don't get to use the final product because it's mixed up with new scraps.

Today I threw kitchen scraps in the garbage. The garbage that ends up at the curb on Monday nights and gets picked up by the big, loud truck the next morning and schlepped to the landfill.

It was a little bit traumatic.

I need a second bin.