May

Washed, dried and folded 1,242 tablecloths.
Brooke & Corey got married.
Corbin & Nancy got engaged.
PAP normal - yay, another year without cancer.
Oh, but wait - mammo abnormal.
Right hand surgery.
Mother's Day - text only from Nancy and Corbin.
Came down with massive cold/bronchitis.
Angie's husband died.
Mammo re-check - mammo, mammo, ultrasound, biopsy, mammo.
Pause 2 days.
All clear.
Three year anniversary of Dad's death.
Steve moved out. I kept Lydia.
Doobert transport - Steve had to help because of my surgery.
Sick as a dead pig.
Stitches removed - healing well.
Picked Lainie up from airport. Loaned her my car for a week.
Mike's memorial (couldn't go; still sick + no car).
My 59th birthday. Text from Brooke first thing in morning, and from Corbin last thing at night.
In re severe depression, made appointment for psych intake/evaluation.
Treated to dinner by Steve, Lydia and Bill.
Janet turned 33.
Joel & Janet's 3rd anniversary.
Still coughing.
Took Lainie to airport.

Ketchup

Life's been wacky so I haven't written much lately. Steve and I have been having some really great conversation lately, studying and evaluating who we each are right now, what we want from our individual lives, and how all of that is reflected in our relationship. I dated; it ended. He's dating; the jury is out. Whatever happens, we're cool with each other.

As for DIY, I have a couple of small projects in the works but am not yet ready to post pictures. I'm rebuilding a garden bench that rotted out and ditto a wind chime that kept losing more pieces every time there was a strong wind. Both of those projects are nearing completion.

I've also been working on producing a genealogy report for my second cousin. It took three weeks of fairly intense work to make it reader-friendly and then said cousin had to cancel our planned visit for this past weekend. Oh well. It's ready for the next visit.

I continue to pine for Armenia but haven't yet found anyone willing and financially able to go with me this year.

There was something wonky in the universe, I'm pretty sure, over the past several weeks. I managed my way through a pretty deep depressive episode and I've heard from others in the world who were experiencing the same thing at the same time (completely unrelated to my own life). Thankfully, it is now lifting. Yay.

Here's a face for you:

@PussyhatProject

#WomensMarch, #WomensMarchSacramento

Reality takes a holiday

Much to my chagrin, and the chagrin of most everyone I know, the Tweeting Cheeto will be inaugurated at the end of this week.

On Friday I plan to attend a group meditation downtown. The focus will be encourage wisdom, compassion, and loving kindness for ourselves, our neighbors, our government leaders and the world.

After the meditation I will join a group of like-minded protesters for the Not My President protest. I am trying hard to achieve "Yes, in fact he will be my president and I need to want him to succeed because if he fails we all fail," but I'm not there yet.

On Saturday I will be participating in the Women's March, Sacramento style. 

While I agree that protests won't prevent the Orange Ball of Anger and Lies from being sworn in*, I just felt like I couldn't sit still for this bullshit. If you feel the same, I encourage you to hit the internet and find your local events. Get out and participate!

*Think he'll have his fingers crossed?

And on that note...

I will miss the Obamas so, so, ever-so-much. Thanks, Obama.

#NotMyPresident, #WomensMarch, #ThanksObama

Zen Retreat

I was so grateful to be invited to join in on a zen retreat at Muir Beach this past Saturday. It's been a long time since I was at the coast and it's my favorite place to be: anywhere on the Pacific coast.

The weather was perfect and the group of people I met were great. There was meditation, food, sharing and brainstorming about coping methods, and a seemingly interminable lecture/lesson regarding the salmon and the watershed that is their spawning ground here. A long, emotionally exhausting day, to be sure, but I am so glad I went along!

My sentiments exactly

I haven't posted anything political here lately because

I have ruminated on it - too much, possibly - but have not been able to come up with Just The Right Words. But today I see that one of my blogger-stalkees, Mimi Smartypants, has said it Just Right:

So if you really, really need me, I'll be here, under the covers, playing "if I can't see you, you can't see me."

Holier Than Thou

WWJD

The other day Steve and I were eating at our stand-by, home-away-from-home Mexican joint down the street, and a homeless woman wandered in. She wanted to use the restroom but of course they wouldn't let her since she was not a paying customer. She smelled so bad that her mere presence immediately cleared the place. Two families and a single guy all exited pronto. The homeless woman left soon after them but her musk lingered.

The only patron left, aside from me and Steve, was a woman standing at the desk waiting for her take-out order. Ms. TakeOut kept making eye contact with me in an attempt to bond over facial expressions of disgust and repulsion. As we went up to pay for our meal, I made a small comment about how sad that poor homeless woman's situation is. "After all, she is a person. She is someone's daughter." As we exited The restaurant, Ms. TakeOut said, "I'll pray for her. That's all we can do, right?"

It was a good thing for Steve that I already had momentum in the direction of the parking lot because what I really wanted to do was turn on my heel and say, "No, that is not all we can do. That is all we are willing to do."

It left me kind of pissed that this woman evidently thought she was such a wonderful Christian and yet, what would Jesus have done? Wouldn't he have taken the hand of the smelly homeless woman, given her a chair and some cool water and washed her feet? Why didn't this "Christian" woman do as Jesus would have done? Why didn't she offer the homeless woman the opportunity to come home with her for a shower, a glass of water, or a meal? Why didn't she at least reach out to the homeless woman, convey to her that she is recognized as a human being, a child of God, maybe order a little something for her to eat or quench her thirst?

Don't get me wrong. I realize I didn't do anything either, but at least I'm honest about not stepping in because sometimes if you bring a homeless person home with you and offer them a shower and a meal then you might Never Get Rid of Them. (I know this from personal experience.) It's just that it struck me as such a cop-out to say "I'll pray for her because that's all I can do."

Postmortem

This week I attended two funerals. Or maybe it's more accurate to say I crashed a funeral for two dead guys.

I RSS the obituaries in my area and when a homeless vet dies without family the funeral home publishes the details so the public can attend if they so wish. I so wished.

They had both served in the Vietnam war. They were both homeless. We do not know if they were drug addicted or had struggles with mental illness, but an assumption can certainly be made.

The funeral home was crawling with American Legion and VFW members and bikers bearing huge American flags. Those two homeless heroes got their official military send off, complete with the flag ceremony, Taps, Amazing Grace played on bagpipes, and three rounds fired into the air.

By chance, I sat four chairs away from a woman who rocked to-and-fro in her seat, held her open hands skyward, praying under her breath and saying "amen" in all the right places. It made me think about our experience in the restaurant and I wondered how this crowd would respond if either of these two homeless men walked into this clean, nicely appointed funeral home (while they still alive), covered in filth and smelly from living on the streets.

Homeless or not, veteran or not, why do we wait until someone is dead to treat them right?

A Life Less Lived

The only thing sadder than someone close to you dying is when you are still alive but treated as though you are dead.

It's funny, the things that stick with you

There has not been one time in all the years since this episode first aired that I have not thought of this scene while putting on my shoes and socks. Or is it socks and shoes? Or is it a sock and a sock and a shoe and a shoe?

Here's a piece of ossumness I came across today:

Little Superheroes

What would you do?

There is a tiny scrap of paper taped to the door of the closet where I keep my clothes. I put it there years ago when I felt small, defeated and incapable. It's a quote from Thomas Edison that says: "If we all did what we were capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves."

Recently I overheard: 

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

I'd love to hear what YOU would do.
Leave it in the comments...if you dare to be honest with yourself.

Fat Talk? Ssshhhh.

Love this.

Peeves & Pleasures

20 things that annoy me:

1. Picture links on shopping sites that say "Enlarge" but when you click them you get a picture the same size as the first one.
2. Websites that require you to enter text into fields but the cursor doesn't start in the first field, and sites where you have to fill in a specific number of characters in a specific set of fields, (e.g., a phone number or a social security number separated into three distinct fields) but the cursor doesn't jump to the next field when you fill the one behind it.
3. People who get dogs and then leave them outdoors, lonely and in the sun all day. And barking.

4. Western medicine. Except when it saves my life.
5. Being hungry and overweight at the same time. No fair!
6. People who let their sprinklers run overtime and/or who let their sprinklers run while it's raining.
7. The uppity.
8. Hypocrites, procrastinators, and game-players.
9. Certain people. Certain other people know who those people are.
10. Not being able to find the time to read and write more.
11. Working until midnight and still having 200 emails in my inbox that need to be read/analyzed/processed/responded to; looking forward to my three-day/birthday weekend simply so I can get caught up on work.

12. Facebook. Twitter. Klout.
13. The world assuming everyone is on Facebook and Twitter.
14. Fear-mongering and TSA theatrics.
15. Clutter.
16. Loud, stupid, drunk people.
17. People who try to get their agenda all over me.
18. Huell Howser.
19. My cat hornking loudly when I'm on a speaker phone call.
20. Not having my strong, cute, healthy young body anymore.

More than 20 things that way-opposite-of-annoy me:

1. Kittens and babies.
2. SkyMall catalogs. FUN!
3. The smell of a lemon tree in full blossom.
4. Freshly washed grown men.
5. The writing of Andy Borowitz.
6. Living in "the future" where one can be cured of cancer "just like that" (insert finger snap here) and one can watch TV shows online at one's convenience and one can see one's grandchild in real time even when miles apart.
7. Ice comes out of the door of my fridge whenever I want it to!
8. Receiving correspondence from my kidz.
9. Neighbors I don't know personally who nevertheless waive when I drive up the street.
10. Receiving expressions of appreciate from those in power at work.
11. The kind of pepperoni that Round Table uses.
12. Citrus air fresheners - the ones that are common in public restrooms. Love 'em.
13. My metal chicken. (Knock Knock MFer!)
14. Nursing seeds through germination and beyond.
15. Tabla.

16. My loinfruit.
17. Serenity.
18. Salads with pickled beets, feta, and almonds.
19. Avocados pretty much any way I can get them.
20. The Davenport being my "home away from home" ...
    and I don't have to pay a dime for it!
21. The Long Island Ice Teas at Q'bole.
22. Wonderful won ton soup.
23. Mikuni.
24. Kufta.
25. Looking at / buying / rehabbing houses.
26. A cup of really good, hot coffee.
27. Cinnamon.
28. Kindness.
29. Sleep.

Hye-dentification

This morning I stumbled over this article from ianyan magazine. Please give it a read and then leave me a comment to let me know what your own experience has been.

The Half-Armenian Identity: But Your Name Is…

15 Meditations on 2010

1. Not being on Facebook means that only people who really care enough to keep in touch will keep in touch.
2. Gifts given with obligation attached are no fun for the recipient, nor for the giver.
3. Hitting the Delete key is easier, cleaner, and nicer than lecturing people on what not to send me.
4. There are those of us who continue to think crazy people can become un-crazy. That rarely works, but we just can't seem to let go of hope until we're damn good and ready. I get it.
5. It's imperative to consider your audience when speaking.
6. My most strenuous forms of exercise are silence and detachment.
7. Everything is an offshoot of the degree to which we fear.
8. My body is God. I know this because it laughs when I tell it my plans.
9. I like two slices of lime in my gin & tonic.
10. Every kid should have someone who is irrationally committed to their future. (Stolen from Tony Danza's mom.)
11. You can unsubscribe and filter junk email, but there is no possible way to opt out of junk snail mail.
12. Some people are really hard not to stab.
13. It's much better to risk the judgment of others by continuing to ask questions until you understand than it is to pretend.
14. I have the courage to be vulnerable and imperfect.
15. It is what it is, but it is also what it is not.

Pay attention people. This is a metaphor for life.

In other news (perhaps exciting only to this gardening geek), we've finished building our new compost corral. It's been a long time coming, but we wanted to put some thought into it and build something that a) wasn't going to cost a bunch of money, b) would last a long time, and c) would be effective and user-friendly. We feel good about this system. Shorty here can easily shovel the contents from one side to the other, stir, water, etc.

It looks like Lincoln Logs, doesn't it? Well, it kinda is. Landscape timbers held together by threading a piece of rebar through each joint. Simple and effective. And, no, those aren't munchkin-stairs for Shorty, just leftover pieces.

dichotomy

I sometimes have to resist the urge to blog about how irritating it is that everyone blogs about everything nowadays.

Serial Poopers

For some unknown reason, several serial pooper stories have crossed my desk recently. In an attempt to bring the world just a wee bit closer to whirled peas, today I'm republishing something I wrote back in April of 2006. I hope it helps.

============================

Some people's heads are chock full of steaming piles of anger and negativity. Their brains are much too small to contain it all, so they must release it or they just might explode.

What these people do, then, is go through the world pooping all over everyone around them. They bitch and yell at other drivers. They frequently cross over the rudeness threshold with the staff of any business they enter. They complain incessantly. They send nasty emails and leave snarky comments on blogs.

Such people are commonly, aptly, referred to as "shitheads."

I am determined not to be a shithead, so I try very, very hard to have an Olympic level of patience with people like this. I try to remember that it is they who are miserable and that I have no obligation (or desire!) to soak up any of that misery from them.

My Pollyanna attitude doesn't seem to make any positive change in them, but I do believe it protects me from the toxicity they're attempting to spread.

============================

And now that you've had your dose of sugar today, here's a cherry to top it off.

See? Notwithstanding the declaration on the tee shirt, how can anyone be poopy after seeing a grin like that?

Words to Live By

Steve picked this up from Loreena McKennitt's website. We try to live by these. (Try is the operational word here.)

• Be compassionate and never forget how to love.
• Think inclusively.
• Reclaim noble values such as truth, honesty, honour, courage.
• Respect one's elders and look to what they have to teach you.
• Be empathetic.
• Look after the less fortunate in society.
• Promote and protect diversity.
• Respect the gifts of the natural world.
• Set your goals high and take pride in what you do.
• Cherish and look after your body, and, as the ancient Greeks believed, your mind will serve you better.
• Put back into the community as there have been those before you who have done the same and you are reaping what they sowed.
• Participate in and protect democracy. It does not thrive as a spectator sport.
• Undertake due diligence in everything.
• Seek balance, and space, and solitude.
• Don't be afraid to feel passionate about something.
• Learn to be an advocate and an ambassador for good.
• Be mindful of your limitations.
• Indulge and nurture your curiosity as it will keep you vital.
• Take charge of your life and don't fall into the pit of entitlement.
• Assume nothing and take nothing for granted.
• Things are not necessarily what they seem.

If you haven't failed, you haven't lived!

Loved this.



Thanks, April.